dear lana
this morning as you snuggled up to me in bed, i thought of you as a baby. last night we watched home movies and i guess those images of you as a little one made me nostalgic.
you were such a good baby. you were perfect. your cheeks i could see as your head was turned away from me. your thumb always plugged in.
this morning brought back mornings- evenings- afternoons...of you sleeping. or trying to. i had to lie next to you, with my back facing you. you were like a soft, fluffy kitten. after nestling up to me, your tiny feet would begin to move up and down my bare back. finding that perfect warmness; softness. a tiny kitten, kneading it's space. but no sharp nails. just perfect toes, soft and velvety. and then the purring would begin and i knew you had found your sleep.
and the thumb always in mouth. and the pinkie- your special blanket. your feet would place me in needed slumber as well. sometimes i would wake before you. most times we would wake together.
this morning wasn't much different. your feet were kneading. my back was accepting. your thumb and "pinkie" still in place. (hey! i thought you gave that thumb up?!) but you asked me to scratch your back. your skin soft, soft, soft.
"mom, that's not long enough." you said. "but i do need pancakes."
i'm still remembering you.
still loving you.
xoxo- mom
this morning as you snuggled up to me in bed, i thought of you as a baby. last night we watched home movies and i guess those images of you as a little one made me nostalgic.
you were such a good baby. you were perfect. your cheeks i could see as your head was turned away from me. your thumb always plugged in.
this morning brought back mornings- evenings- afternoons...of you sleeping. or trying to. i had to lie next to you, with my back facing you. you were like a soft, fluffy kitten. after nestling up to me, your tiny feet would begin to move up and down my bare back. finding that perfect warmness; softness. a tiny kitten, kneading it's space. but no sharp nails. just perfect toes, soft and velvety. and then the purring would begin and i knew you had found your sleep.
and the thumb always in mouth. and the pinkie- your special blanket. your feet would place me in needed slumber as well. sometimes i would wake before you. most times we would wake together.
this morning wasn't much different. your feet were kneading. my back was accepting. your thumb and "pinkie" still in place. (hey! i thought you gave that thumb up?!) but you asked me to scratch your back. your skin soft, soft, soft.
"mom, that's not long enough." you said. "but i do need pancakes."
i'm still remembering you.
still loving you.
xoxo- mom
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