thomas family: I'm just saying

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I'm just saying

This is Chris typing with Jayne sitting to my right, adding her two cents.

Just a few quick things recently heard in our home:

1) A Sunday afternoon at the kitchen table. Noah says "Dad, Lana called me a dork this morning." Lana explained to me "I said 'no offence'." While I'm trying to explain to Lana that saying 'no offence' means you probably shouldn't be saying anything - sort of like 'I'm just saying...' - Noah is protesting in the background: "No! She didn't say 'Noah fence,' she said 'Noah dork!'"

2) After watching one of the Star Wars movies, Noah turns to Jayne and says: "I want to marry Star Wars."

3) A funny friend of Eddie's was visiting us. Apparently, he knows his pharmaceutical disclaimers but some of the finer points of health education still elude him. We were watching a show and a commercial for some drug came on and he was matching the voiceover, word-for-word... "do not take Vytorin if you are pregnant, or nursing or may become pregnant" etc. Then he asks the room "How do you 'May become pregnant? Oh wait, I know - you drink lots of Sunny Delight." "What?!!!" Jayne shouted. He then explained that he'd seen the movie 'Juno' (don't ask) and he saw the girl drink a ton of Sunny delight and then she was pregnant. Voila! We decided to let his parents burst the bubble... or not.

4) 'Bingo'. Lots of 'Bingo'. This has been for some time but Noah uses 'bingo' as a positive exclamation - sort of like 'awesome'. E.g. "Mom, can I watch Star Wars?" "Sure." "Bingo."

all for now

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Car Conversations

Me: "Noah, what do you want to be when you get older?"

Noah: Definitely not a lifeguard! Even though I am a great swimmer." 3-12

Noah: "I wish I was an only child."

Me: "Really?"

Noah: "Yes. I wonder what it would be like."

Me: "You might be a little bored."

Noah: "No. I wouldn't."

Me: "Don't you think you would be scared in our house all alone in all the rooms? Who would you sleep with if you got scared?"

Noah: "I don't get scared. And I have you."

Me: "True, but you don't always want me, all the time..."

Noah: "Hmmmmmmm...yeah. Yeah I do."

Me: "Good answer!! You are number one son!!"

Noah: Laughs. 10-11

Noah: "Mom, do they have church during Summer?"

Me: "Yes."

Noah: "Dang."

6-11

Noah: "Mom, can you create a Yes Holiday for me? That means it's a holiday where whenever I ask you for something, you say yes."

Me: ...no answer...

4-4-11

Noah: "Where is Ceily?"

Me: "She's at Young Women's."

Noah: "What?"

Me: "At Young Women's at church. I just dropped her off."

Noah: "Whoa. You mean Ceily is a woman? That is young? I never knew that. Wow." 2-11

On the topic of baby showers...

Me: "You usually only have one baby shower for your first girl and your first boy. Unless you have twins. You get to have another because you need two of everything."

Eddie: "Like Summer when she has her twins. With two babies and Luisa, whoa. That's gonna be rough. I never thought of that until just now. How's she gonna do that? Whoa..." 11-10

Noah's Friend: "I'm defeating a blue girl with big boobies."

Noah: "Me too. I'm fighting her too...wait, she doesn't have big boobs. Why did you say she has big boobies?"

Friend: "Because she has boobs."

Noah: "Just because she has boobs doesn't mean she has big ones. Oh yes!!! I won! Oh man. No I didn't." 9-10

Lana: "I hate this song!!"

Noah: "I'm with ya sister." 8-10

Lana and Noah are in the back seat. Lana is sniffing. Continually.

Noah: "Lana! Stop doing that! Every time you do that it makes me feel like I'm going to throw up in my mouth!" 4-10

Dad: "Eddie, I don't want to hear another word from you the entire ride home. Not one word. No talking."

Eddie: "Are you kidding me?! Everybody has the right to talk!" 03-10

Noah: "I'm not a munchkin, I'm a man!"

Me: "What does that mean?"

Noah: "I'M A MAN!!!" 03-10

Noah: "Are we suppose to buy lunch today?"
Dad: "Uhh, yeah. I forgot about that entirely."
Lana: "You forget about a lot of things. What would we do if mom died?"
Dad: "Lana don't talk like that, Mom's not dying
Lana: "Seriously, what if she died? What would we do?" 1-10

Noah: "Mom, I really need to learn how to cook."
Lana: "Uh, why?!"
Noah: "Because I'm gonna be a grown up one day." 1-10

Chris: "You are such good kid. I hope you had a good Christmas."
Noah: Big sigh..."I was on the good list."12-09

Noah: "Mom, is tomorrow picture day?"
Me: "Yes it is."
Noah: "I need to bring my smile." 10-09

Lana to her best friend: "They really need to put more girls and romantic things and love stories in Star Wars." 9-09

Me: "Noah, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Noah: "I want to be a hunter. The kind that wears the brown and green spots on the clothes."
Me: "Why do you want to be a hunter?"
Noah: "Because." 9-09

Returning home after swimming. Noah without shirt.
Noah: "One, two, three. I have three nipples. I should be in the book of world records."
**Note: On more than one occasion, I have mentioned to Chris that I think Noah has an extra nipple. It's tiny. Almost invisible...but there. Now I feel validated. Thanks Noah.8-09

Noah: "Oh yeah. I'm gonna sleep in my birthday suit tonight."
Me: "No you are not."
Lana: "I'm going to sleep in my half birthday suit."
(She has to wear a pull-up)6-09

Noah: "Mom, what does swell mean?"
Me: "It means great, or fine or ok."
Noah: "Oh. Would you like some marshmellow with that swell?"6-09

Noah: "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE MALL!!! The mall is for womens. Boys don't do the mall." 6-09

Noah: "Mom, that's what I want. I want that gun."
Me: "I don't like guns. I don't like you pointing guns at people and shooting them."
Noah: "Mom, I wont shoot people, I'll just shoot at random things." 5-09

Passing a restaurant...
Noah: "I remember when my best friend and I went there."
Shaking head and sighing-"Good times. Good times."
Me to self: What, is he 89 years old or something? 5-09

Noah: "Can we go to Dunkin Donuts?"
Me: "Dunkin Donuts is disgusting."
Noah- incredulously: "What?!"4-09

Noah: "If Dad doesn't fix the big movie screen for our next trip, I'm going to die!
Me: "Hope not."
Noah: "Yes! And I only have one life left!"
Me: "I sure would miss you if you died.
Noah: "Why?"
Me: "When you're a parent, you love your children more than anything."
Noah: "More than cake?"4-09

Ceily: "Mom, when am I going to get braces?
Me: "Don't know hon."
Ceily: "Well they better have multicolored kind."
Me: "Why do you want your mouth to look like it has food stuck everywhere?"
Ceily: "What?! It's like Skittles. Taste the color. Brace the color. Hey I'm going to send that to Skitttles."4-09

The family is driving in the car- all are captivated as Chris describes his 'dream house'
Noah: "Dad, what is your nightmare house like?" 4-09

Noah: "Mom, we didn't brush our teeth once. It was the rule. Dad! Was it a rule at cousin camp that we didn't have to brush our teeth?!"4-09

Ceily: "I like Rice Pudding but I feel old when I'm eating it. It's for old people."4-09

4:30 in the morning, driving to VA.
Noah: "Mom, did you remember to bring the hair gel?"4-09

Noah: "When I grow up I want to be a movie writer. Oh, and a Fireman and a Policeman and an Astronaut. I'll be a guard at night so I can stay at home during the day with my children." 3-09

Noah: "Eddie, I love you so much. I want to kiss your head and your eyeball." 3-09

Car ride on Friday night
Noah: "Mom! Where is Blockbuster!?"
Noah: "I did not like that food. Next time I get to choose were we go to dinner."
Noah: "Do I get to get a movie?"
Noah: "Where the heck is Blockbuster?!"
Noah: "This is not...Hey, is it Lana and Eddie that like the Crab place? I can't remember. This is definitely not the way to Blockbuster!"
Noah: "Why are you turning here mom? Where is Blockbuster?"
Noah: "We are so going to watch movies all night long!"
Noah: "Mom, how do you spell all night?"
Noah: "Do we have any popcorn?"
Noah: "What the heck?! Oh, here's blockbuster!"
3-09

Me: "Noah, what do you want for your birthday?"
Noah: "Um, I'll take anything. Just not baby things or woman things."
Me: "Ok, so that means you would like a Barbie, and some pantyhose and lipstick?"
Noah is not talking to me now.2-09

Noah: "Mom, I love you."
Me: "I love you too."
Noah: I love you more."
Me: "I love you infinity."
Noah: "I love you googolplex. Googolplex is more than infinity." 2-09

Noah: "Mom, you totally have to let me be a car rider. The bus seats stink. I can't take it anymore."
Me: "Sorry, you have to ride the bus in the morning."
Noah: "Mom, were you treated like this when you were a kid? Did your mom force you to ride the bus?"
Me: "Yes Noah. I rode the bus every day. Morning AND afternoon."
Noah: "The dude I sat next to today was totally weird. I have to be a car rider!"
Me: "Sorry."
Noah: "BUT IT STINKS SO BAD!"02-09

Me: "Eddie, put that down."
Noah: "Hey, listen to the lady."2-09

Noah and I are in the car listening to the radio.
Radio commercial: 'February is the month when most couples split or divorce. The reason- the men don't buy the women flowers.'
For some reason I immediately look at Noah through my rear view mirror and I see him shaking his head up and down.
Noah: "Yep, that's really true."2-09

Me: "Why are you so cute?"
Noah: "I don't know. I guess I was just born that way." 1-09

Me: "Noah, please go upstairs and tell Ceily to come here."
Noah: "Oh, no. It smells like crap."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Noah: "It smells like holy crap in there."
Me: "We don't use that word."
Noah: "Well it smells like holy throw-up in there. I don't want to." 1-09

Noah: "When I get older, I'll buy a cool car. Then a dog. Then I'll get married and then I'll have babies. Then when I'm 50 I'll be a grandpa. What will they call me?"
Me: "That's good. They will probably call you Grandpa Noah."
Noah: "Oh, great."1-09

Ceily: "Mom, do old people make-out?"
Me: "Umm, I don't know. How old are you talking about.?"
Ceily: "Like Grandma and Grandpa, do they kiss and make-out?"
Me: "Umm, I would think so...maybe..."
Ceily: "Euuuuw! Let's not talk about it."1-09

Noah: "Alex at school is silly. He always chooses, everyday, SILLY for his feeling word."
Me: "What word do you choose everyday?"
Noah: "STARVING."12-01

Noah: "Grandma, flex your muscles." Grandma flexes her muscles. Noah grabs her muscle and squishes and says-"Feels like puddin."11-08

Noah: "Mom, will you buy me black shoes and black pants and a black shirt?"
Me: "Why?"
Noah: "I want to dress up like a bully and go to school and scare my friends."
Me: "Oh."11-09

Noah: "Mom, if you take me back to the doctor's, can they change my name to Jenga Fett?"11-09

Noah: "Mom, how come you are so squishy all over? Is it because you are...Mom, what's another word for fat?"10-08

Noah: "Mom, do you know bees and wasps?"
Me: "Yes I do."
Noah: "Wasps and bees, they are cousins, real cousins. I'm serious." 10-08

Noah:"Mom, what does it mean to be adopted?"
Me: "It means that you go to live with another family forever and you never see your real family again."
Noah:"Mom, can I be adopted by Staci?"10-08

Noah: "I'm not leaving the house until my hair grows back into a circle. I'm going to hide in the toy box." 9-08

Noah: "Mom, I would like to be an underwater creature."
Me: "Oh really. Which creature would you like to be?"
Noah: "A Seal. They go ( Noah making sound of a Seal) and they clap, clap, clap. That's fun."9-08

Noah: "Mom, how old is Indian Jones?"
Me: "He's old. Maybe 60 or so."
Noah: "You mean he's a grandpa?"
Me: "Yep."
Noah: "Indiana Jones is a grandpa adventurer? Wow, he's old." 9-08

Noah and I in the car this afternoon...
Noah: "Mom, why are there so many old grandmas and grandpas?
Noah: "Mom, I wish everyone in the whole wide world was naked and had no money."
Me: "Why?"
Noah: "Because."
Me: "Because why?"
Noah: "Mom, 'because' is an answer."
Noah: "Mom, I wish I was you, I mean I wish I was dad. No, I wish I was dad when he was a kid. Wait, is his dad the dad with a mustache?"
Noah: "Mom, what clothes will I wear when I am a man?"
Noah: "Mom, why do the police arrest you if you don't wear your seatbelt?"
Noah: "Mom, what did you say? What?! I didn't hear you! Did you say the police are comming?!" (I said nothing close.)
Noah: "Mom, what did that fake lady just say on the radio? She always says that."
Noah: "Mom, why are you laughing?! What's so funny!? What?
Me: "I'm laughing because you have so many questions and I can never answer them correctly and you are funny."
Noah: "I AM NOT FUNNNNY!!!!!" 9-09

It's the 4th day of pre-school for Noah.
Noah: "Mom, I want to be homeschooled."
Me: "Why."
Noah: "I never get to rest."
Me: "I'm not a teacher. I can't teach you at home."
Noah: "But you're a mom and you stay at home and you can just teach me."
Me: "No, I don't teach school at home."
Noah: "I get too hot and sweaty."
Me: "Sorry."8-08

anoah: "Mom, when you have a sack race, you have to go slow, not too fast." A minute later I hear Noah muttering to himself- "Slow is NOT the way to race." 08-08

Traveling in the car giving a lecture
Me: "Blah blah blah blah blah. Lecture blah blah. Lecture lecture lecture. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....."

A moment of quiet.
Noah: "Mom, when you say so many words,
do you get tired?" 07-8

Noah: "Grandma, can two humans ride on a fake horse?"
07-08

Noah: "Mom, what were you wearing when dad found you?"
5-08

Noah: "Mom, what do we need to build a water tower?"4-08

Eddie: "Grandma, sometimes I think Noah and I are going to get kidnapped so I stay real still under the covers so they'll take Noah." 4-08

Noah: "Mom, I reeeeeaaaaly want a mohawk."
Me: "We'll talk about that later." 3-08

Noah: "My girlfriend is not Mary Yillian!"
Lana: "Yes! You love her!"
Noah: "No. I don't yove (love) her. I don't even want to kiss her. My girlfriend is Sarah from church. She wears beautiful dresses every Sunday. And she is so cute. I want to kiss her on the yips (lips)."
3-08

Noah: "Mom, I had a dream and I was a Super Hero. And Dad was my sidekick and Grandma was my sidekick and you were my sidekick and Lana was my sidekick and Ceily was my sidekick and Eddie was my sidekick and Grandpa was my sidekick. Everyone was my sidekicker." 3-08

Eddie: "Ceily, my friend told me he saw Nick Jonas (of the Jonas Brothers) smoking on the internet."
Ceily: "That is not true."
Eddie: "Yes, he saw it for real."
Me: "Which one is Nick?"
Ceily: "The one with the curly hair."
Eddie: "Yeah, and he was smoking."
Ceily: "Eddie, everyone has the ability to drag and drop."
Me: "What does that mean?"
Ceily: "You know on the computer you can just drag a picture of a cigarette and drop it into a picture. There's no way Nick was smoking for real." 3-08

Lana: "Mom, why didn't you name me Rosario?"
This was asked with no explanation as to why Rosario and why she doesn't like Lana. 2-08

Noah: "Mom, I want to bite Betty for my Birthday."
Me: "Bite Betty? What does that mean, and who is Betty."
Noah: "Not bite, bite Betty. You know Grandma's cat."
Mom: "Oh, you mean INVITE Betty the Cat to your birthday."
Noah: "Yes. I love her. I wish I had a pet. Remember how you loved pets when you were little? You should really buy your son a pet."2-5-08

Noah is eating a Hot Fudge Sundae from Sonic.
To self- "I love whip cream."
Bringing spoon to mouth- "Come to daddy!" 07

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I'm just saying

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